Do you always put other people before yourself? Check out this could indicate that you're a people-pleaser
We develop trauma and a deep-seated fear of abandonment when we are raised in homes where we have been neglected. We therefore attempt to appease others in an effort to counteract the sense of falling behind.
Read more: Mental Health in the Workplace: Fostering a Healthy and Supportive Environment
For those who have experienced childhood trauma or abandonment, this is a useful defense mechanism.
They push their own priorities far from themselves while continuously attempting to appease others and find approval from others."A lot of us have the urge to win people over.
People-pleasing behavior may first appear innocent, but it eventually turns destructive, leaving us feeling exhausted, uneasy, and cut off from our actual selves, according to therapist Klara Kernig.
These are the top 5 traits that show you are people pleaser:
You seek constant validation and Approval
Accepting and valuing your good qualities, accomplishments, emotions, and strengths is the first step toward internal validation. The acknowledgement of your emotions and strengths by others is known as external validation.
Friends and family is the people we turn to when we need help and motivation. External validation is one component of that.
We are thrilled to tell our loved ones when we eventually land the dream job, go on the ideal date, or receive the promotion we've been waiting for. We want them to support and validate our victories.
You people-please because you have a history of needing approval and because it gives you a temporary sense of validation. A people-pleaser finds motivation in life through other people's acceptance and validation. They also make a special effort to prioritize other people over us.
Setting Boundaries Makes You Feel Guilty
You don't set boundaries because you want to be helpful, and you feel that other people need you more than you need yourself. Saying no to people makes you uncomfortable; perhaps this is because you were once regretful of yourself for having boundaries.
Lack of boundaries in personal life is a common indicator of a people-pleaser. They fear setting boundaries because they might offend people because they are always putting others before themselves.
You Don't Usually Tell People How You Feel
You feel that other people's problems are more important and that your own feelings are unimportant, so you are reluctant to express them. Additionally, they never put their own feelings first, avoiding confronting uncomfortable emotions and ultimately suppressing them.
You apologize easily and quickly
To be people-pleasing means to be willing accept blame, even when it has absolutely nothing to do with you. You possess items you don't need to and become involved in matters that are unrelated to you because you believe you are in charge of other people's emotions and responses to everything. Because you believe that you are in charge of other people's emotions and responses to everything, you own things and become invested in issues that are unrelated to you.
You have anger and frustration
Your efforts may be noticed and appreciated by those you assist if you dedicate all of your time to helping them. Maybe not, though.Even though it's not their goal, they could eventually exploit you. It's possible that they are unaware of the sacrifices you are making for them.
Regardless of the situation, being kind while having hidden agendas can lead to dissatisfaction and bitterness. Passive-aggressive behavior frequently arises from this, which can be upsetting or confusing to those who are genuinely unaware of what is going on.
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